I saw a girl that was broken...

Hello my love..... what a day. I went from one end of a the spectrum to the other end. I felt sad and depressed and now I feel optimistic and loved. I just got done reading your letter that you wrote me this afternoon. I loved it. It was exactly what I needed from you. I have wanted that letter from you for so long. I am sad that it took this experience to get it from you but I think that it was one of the first times that I have ever really felt the emotion in your words. That is huge for me and you. I want  you to know that I love you more than anything, more than money, more than things, more than my time. I love you, I always have even from the beginning dates when we first started to hold on to each other, to the years of newly weds where we did not have a clue what we were doing, to the struggles of bringing little ones into the world, to the ups and downs of our financial life, even through this battle of your eating disorder. I have learned to love you more and deeper than ever before. I want you to tell me your trials, I want to share them with you. Life is so lonely and tiring when we are separate, not just physically like we are now, but also mentally and emotionally. I feel like I can do anything when I have your support. I want you to feel the same. I want you to know that no matter what, my love for  you will never go away. We will have our fights and our arguments, our disagreements and difficulties, but it will never change my love for you. We have a love that is eternal in nature.  After going through these past couple of months, I have come to know more fully that we were meant to be together. You see, this trial is not taking us apart, it is bringing us so much closer. I was so happy today when we resolved our problem by ourselves. I know we have a lot of work to do together in that area, but the worst thoughts were rolling through my mind last night. I was at the bottom of the pit, everything looked dreary no matter which way I ran the situation in my mind. I thought that there could be no good outcome and when I wrote that letter to you this morning, I think you felt my emotions. When we sat in those two chairs, inches away from each other, I saw emotions in you that I have not seen before. When we stood those two paces apart from each other and the therapist asked me to yell out words to you, I was not lying. Beautiful. Resiliant. Sad. I saw a girl that was broken. But I saw a girl that I was so in love with. You started to cry and I could not help but to have the strongest feelings of love for you. I could see the sorrow in your soul. We have both made bad decisions in the past year, we have both said and done things that we probably should not have. But seeing you standing there, I saw a girl who had determination that very few people have. When we hugged after that, I knew we were going to be fine. When you whispered to me that there were no more secrets, I believed you. When we sat by each other tonight on the couch, and I held you as close as I could under the prying eyes of the  nurse, I fell in love with you all over again.  I knew that we were going to be all right. That is what two people who love each other do, they make up, forgive and love. I am so happy that we went from tears to peace, without help from others, in a few hours. That is exactly what I want when this process is over. I want to cry, debate, argue and sorrow. Then I want to come to terms, negotiate, forgive and move on with a single purpose and goal and make up, tell each other how much we love one another and then make out like it is the first time. That is passion. That is love. Love is to be in bad situations but to have the fortitude to make them good again. That is what marriage is all about. That is what we are all about, we just did not know how to do it all of these years. And now after having one of the saddest moments of our life together, we worked through it and that makes me so happy and gives me the reassurance that we are going to get through this together. So thank you for being so understanding, thank you for putting up with my intensity. Thank you for being 'you' today. This is the Jane that I fell in love with all those years ago. I care so much for you. Today was a good day. It was a hard day. But we reached a milestone together, I think our slate is wiped clean. I have no feelings of anger towards you, just an immense amount of love. This is early but Happy Birthday. There will be many more to come. I look forward to each one of them. And, I truly do mean this..... I LOVE MY GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!