Wednesday, September 23, 2015

I am still bitterly amazed at the strength that this eating disorder has on my wife


Got up, fed the kids pancakes, prayed, sang and kissed good bye. Cleaned, showered, shaved, bathed a little one and checked email. Pretty run of the mill stuff this morning. I think the excitement of the night was when we decided to leave the dogs out last night. They were great at first, they were barking a bit and I thought it would be great to have a watch dog or two running around at night for when jane gets home. So I went to bed and after two hours of listening to the dogs chase each other, and deer, and raccoons, and rabbits and skunks around, and around, and around the house, I gave up. I got out of bed, walked out to the garage in my pajamas, opened the door, whistled, got Alabama in side, picked him up, walked out to the kennel through the snow barefoot in my pajamas, put him in the kennel and came back inside and went back to bed to peace and quiet. The kids heard them barking all evening also, needless to say, we were all tired this morning. The dogs definitely will be kenneled every night from now on. So anyway, I dropped baby girl off at her friend's house for library day and then I went to my little girl's school to meet her for lunch. I had a sloppy joe, potatoes, applesauce, and lima beans, topped off with a chocolate milk. She was so excited that I was there, we ate and talked and all the kids sat there and stared at our table, wanting to come sit by us. But it was just my daughter and I. It was fun. I need to do this more often. With the other kids too. I got done there and then I had to run back home to meet the fuel truck to fill my gas tank. I bought 700 gallons at $1.84 a gallon. I  think that we have hit the bottom of the fuel prices. We will see.  Jane and her therapist called at 3 and I headed home and we did family counseling while I was driving. It was good. I am not quite sure how I am feeling tonight. I feel so distant from Jane right now. Here at home, I think that everything is moving along and that she is working through her trials. I think of the this summer when we are back together again and I visualize us being together and madly in love again. I visualize Jane restored to a healthy weight and eating a normal amount of food again. Then I get on the phone with her and I realize that even though my mind is already in summer and I am excited for it, Jane is barely getting through the first half of phase one. She still does not want to eat. That is hard, her up-hill journey is just starting and I am already rejoicing at the end result. I know that she is giving it her all. It cannot be easy being away from us reading about all the normal things that we are doing every day. I would hate that if I was in her shoes, but I would also want to know what is going on. I just feel like I don't understand what she is thinking. I want to know what it feels like but that will probably never be possible. I am still bitterly amazed at the strength that this eating disorder has on my wife. It holds her hostage to healing. It is sad, and I feel bad that Jane is having to go through this. Jane is still a bit insecure about us I think. I told her that as long as she keeps trying, I will be fine. I will figure out a way to make this work. As long as I know that she is not just going through the motions, then I can put up with a lot. I don't want to have to go through this again. I don't want to have to watch my wife go to the brink of death and get pulled back at the last minute. I don't want to have to drive my wife to the center and drop her off for a undetermined amount of time again. I am not saying that I could not or would not do it again, but I don't want to. I want this time to count, I want jane to come home with the tools she will need to cope with the ED. That is my hope, that is what the hundreds and hundreds of prayers have been for. I won't give up on her as long as she does not give up on her. We will get through this some how. I am really glad that I get to see her on Sunday this week. I need to be with her again soon.

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